The End of the Fight

It is nearly the end of September.  I haven't written in awhile, and for good reason.  The fighting season certainly did take time and energy away from me.  In fact, it wasn't the enemy who was responsible.  The enemy was out there, stronger and trying to kill us, as always.  The changes we experienced in the last 2-3 months had nothing to do with losing our own to injury or death.  And yet despite this lack of losses and continued successes against the enemy there was more calls for a change in tactics, a change in strategy.  How can we be more effective?  How can we deal a harsher blow to the enemy and finally drive him from our area of operations?  In addition to that, it seemed each chief with a little power felt it was time to flex it.  To make their mark, to do things their way.  The soldiers on bottom can only take so much of their superiors ordering them to do stupid shit for their own benefit.  After awhile there is no motivation, no loyalty, and no belief that our orders are anything but the whims of a selfish system built upon the idea of privilege.  So we get tired, and we lose sight of the real fight.

The fighting season is drawing to a close, and fighters won't be willing to return while the weather turns brutal and cold.  We all turn our eyes towards home, hoping and wishing we will be there overnight.  It is all I think about, and I am certain my fellow soldiers feel the same.  We are barred from the celebration however, by the tedious and impeding bureaucracy slowing our every step towards redeployment.  Each step towards home is filled with more processes and more changes, so much that it feels as though we are walking in sand, sinking with each step.  And although we will touch down in the US, we are disheartened with the promise of how long it will be before we can hold our loved ones.  Of all the "necessary work" that must be done in order to have a break from the constant dreariness that accompanies deployments.  There is a training schedule, an equipment turn in, paperwork, doctors appointments, awards, ceremonies, and so much pomp and circumstance that we are almost dreading returning as we were departing.  I know in 3 months, I will feel the pain and frustration of the whole process was worth it and be elated to be back.  But for now, that feeling seems so very far away.  One fight may be ending, here in Afghanistan, but it seems a whole new fight is beginning.  The Fight To Get Home.

Reporters and the Citizenry

I don't like war.  It brings pain and misery to everyone on their side and ours.  Innocents are caught in the middle.  Very little good ever comes of it.

We had some reporters from NPR come to COP WILDERNESS and find out how our fight is going in my area.  We had been given the usual "don't say anything stupid" speech.  I personally am privileged to sensitive information and I didn't want them taking it out of context or quoting something meant to be off the record.  So I didn't speak maybe 10 words to them the whole time they were here.  In fact, when they asked me a question I referred them to our commanding officers.  We took mortars and other indirect fires the day they were set to leave.  Also a day when we were receiving VIPs for a meeting.  They got good coverage of this to include pictures.  Naturally their focus was on this event and others like it.  Not only did they publish the initial article based around our fight, they mentioned specifics about who was wounded and when we normally take fire.  In the business, we call this BDA and TTPs.  A "Battle Damage Assessment" or BDA is what effect your attack had on the target, so thank you NPR for letting them know how effective they were.  "Tactics, Techniques and Procedures" are the patterns you set in operations and patterns the enemy sets.  They are important for obvious reasons, again thank you NPR for letting them know that WE know what they are doing.  To continue; this report was updated yesterday with more pictures of us climbing mountains and other operations in the area.  They also had spoken with our brigade commander and talked about how the fight is going in this area.  I don't have any problem with that, he is the one to talk to the media about how our fight is going.  However, it seems that the reporters got the idea from talking with him and others that I'm right in the middle of the fight.  We have a fight on our hands, that is certain, BUT I do not think it is as overblown and extensive as they are suggesting.  That is dangerous.  Reporters saying that Haqqani tactics are alienating local elders is dangerous.

Why are reporters posting these things?  Don't they understand how dangerous it is to speculate on how the US military is trying to end the fighting?  Even more aggravating are the comments below.  Readers are suggesting Afghanistan is a war for resources or worse even, that we are here to destroy the native population.  WHAT THE FUCK!?  I don't love the political decisions our government makes most of the time.  In fact, I generally tend to disagree with how our country is run.  But seriously, this is AS clear cut of an operation as you can manage.  Bad guys attack US, US attacks country harboring bad guys, US kills bad guys, bad guys continue to try and take the country back over, US continues to kill bad guys.  You can try to find all the conspiracies in the world to make that into a bad thing but its ridiculous.  If you understand how terrorism works and how international politics work, even a little, you can understand the fight in Afghanistan.  I studied it for years and of the hotspot situations in the world right now it is one of the least complicated.  We weren't searching for some mysterious WMD when we came here.  We came for Bin Laden and the Taliban.  PERIOD.  The Taliban have done a good job of coming back and trying to take the country again.  We have continued to fight them.  War weariness is setting in and Afghans don't want to fight anymore, but that isn't stopping foreign fighters from coming here to make a name for themselves.  The comments on that blog aren't from Afghans or foreign nationals who disapprove of the US Military.  Those are OUR citizens who are essentially calling the soldiers murderers and our mission to prevent Afghanistan from becoming an international terrorism safe haven a mission for blood and treasure.  Its more than offensive, its depressing.  If the citizens are too stupid to know we are protecting them, then why are we?  Shouldn't we just let terrorism flourish wherever it can and kill off our citizens?  After all, I'm apparently doing the wrong thing here.  So why fight?  Shouldn't I just let them go over to the US and blow up NPR headquarters, cause I'm just here for natural resources and to oppress the locals.  I'm not here to prevent Al-Qaeda or someone like them from attacking Americans or anything.  And the worst comments are from people frowning at me essentially saying "Awww he thinks he is helping America but he is just stupid."  That shit pisses me off.

I'm not the smartest guy in the world, but I when it comes to international politics, terrorism, and military strategy or tactics I definitely have a leg up on most people.  I'm not a doctor or a lawyer.  I'm a soldier, and more than that I'm a soldier who has intimately studied everything having to do with terrorism, international politics, and warfare.  I spend my waking hours thinking like the enemy so that I can find him and kill him.  It isn't some TV crew or commentator walking up a mountain to take a look at some corpses to see if there is evidence he was a insurgent leader, that's me.  They aren't taking prints of a dead guy who got his head exploded by automatic 30mm fire, that would be me.  So for every reporter out there or dumbass civilian commenting on how our soldiers are stupid: stop, take a deep breath, and the shut the fuck up.

LTC Mohammad Hussein

This entry is meant to be an obituary for LTC Hussein.  Enough time has passed from when he was killed that I don't think there are any operational issues involved.

LTC Mohammad Hussein was a Tajik born in the northern provinces of Afghanistan.  He had been fighting in one way or another, as had many Afghans, for his whole life.  He was the battalion level commander for the Afghan National Army headquartered with B Troop, 6-4 CAV.  There wasn't much to know about LTC Hussein initially, he was wary of US troops from his past experiences.  But with time he began to show what kind of man he truly was.  He cared for his soldiers, really cared about their welfare and their training.  He was quick to laugh at ridiculous situations (of which in Afghanistan there are plenty), but somber and serious when the situation called for it.  He held a strength that was visible, people recognized it and respected him for it.  LTC Hussein had been fighting in the eastern provinces for the whole war, since the Taliban was driven out, before there was a formalize Afghan National Army.  He had been targeted before to be assassinated, and the enemy almost killed him with a targeted IED.  They wanted to kill him because he cared, because he was a good soldier who wanted to protect the people who couldn't protect themselves and because he was a true leader who inspired his soldiers to fight when they thought there was no point and to do the right thing despite the difficulty.  Despite all the challenges he faced as a commander, he would just listen to everyone talk and then once they were done he would speak very calmly and quietly, with respect to each position, and tell his soldiers and everyone else who was there exactly what needed to happen.  I had the opportunity to speak with him personally on many occasions and in addition to being a model soldier and officer he was a kind man who did the right thing no matter how difficult.  He was killed on April 5, 2011 by an IED made specifically for him.  He had gone to visit the place where an officer of his, a friend, had been killed the year before.  The enemy waited until they saw him pay his respects, get into his vehicle, and then they murdered him and two of the soldiers he was with.  His death was a loss, not just for his military and Afghanistan, but for everyone who fights against the enemy.  He will be remembered.

Night Duty

Working at night is not easy, even for someone who is a night person.  Very little happens at night even here.  There are people moving here, and the occasional vehicle there, but overall most everything still happens during the day.  Only in great cities like New York or Chicago are people as active at night as they are during the day.  I like the nighttime.  Somehow it feels like a different world.  The time, unfortunately, passes quite slowly.  There seems to be more hours to think about home, and how much I want to go back.  There is a job to do here, but I feel that it is mostly done and time for us to hand it off.  I know the outcome, as I did before I left the US, but it doesn't change that very little is still happening here.  We can spend more money, more lives, and more time to improve the lives of the people here but ultimately it is a band aid for which there is no permanent solution.  The people in this part of the world are very set in the their ways, as unforgiving as the mountains which cover this country.  No amount of anything we give, or do, or say will change that fact about them.  It is the same for my position here.  Nothing I say or do will shorten the time here, and not much can improve my standing.  It is limbo.  I laugh because when we got here there was so much to improve upon.  The last people to be in this place literally went backwards, leaving projects in disrepair and destroying any good will that had come to this place.  There was building to do, and it took months of hard work to develop our position.  But now that we are established and complete it is just a boring routine of the same day over and over again.  The mission is done, and now we should be going home.

Mrs. Fritz's Class

We received some mail today that might possibly be the best thing I have ever seen.  In addition to the THREE boxes of random goodies they sent to me (including 48 colors of crayons and UNO cards!!) they also each wrote me a short letter telling me what they have thought of my service.  I am amazed at these kids.  One boy, Patrick, who is 10 years old, told me an epic tale of how his basketball team overcame their opponents in overtime to win the championship.  His last sentences: "Thank you for serving our country.  I don't think I could ever in my whole life serve for our amazing country because I don't have enough courage to do that.  Thank you again.  Bye!"  Honestly I never considered it to be a courageous thing I am doing.  Maybe its not that I have the courage myself to do this, but that each one of these kids and all the people at home give me that courage with their hopes and prayers and well wishes.  I have a few more excerpts to add in.  Eddie has a great story about him and his friends doing a Spongebob Squarepants song in the talent show.  He ends with "I truly admire the way you fearlessly fight for our country."

Leena loves dogs and just recently got a new puppy, a black and white terrier mix named Max.  She ends her letter; "You really work hard.  We all appreciate you and right now I admire you.  You're a role model to me.  you fight for your country.  You show you're a true American.  you don't care what happens, you know you have the strength to defeat anything.  you are an amazing person, a true citizen, and a true soldier."  These words mean so much more to me than any newspaper editor or self-serving politician.  I have never felt so supported by total strangers.

Calvin loves chess and came in first during the Chess Tournament.  Jalen loves the Chicago Bulls and is happy they are in the playoffs.  He ends his letter with "Thank you for protecting us from danger.  I appreciate your time for fighting to keep our freedom.  You are very brave and bold for doing this."  Riley likes to go to the movies and Extreme Trampoline, his favorite team is the Blackhawks.  Mine too, I hope they can win another Stanley Cup when I am home to watch it!  Ava is going to get a shelter dog when her dad graduates dental school.  She loves dogs and has a hilarious tooth joke at the end of her letter.

The last letter is from the teacher Janice Fritz.  She explains how excited the kids were and how much they would like to write me back.  I know that by the time I mail a letter they will be on break so now I will try to get a call out to them at school.  She ends her letter, "Thank you so much for serving our country.  I would think being away from home for so long, and in such a stressful situation, would be extremely difficult."

These are the reason I fight.  These letters, these wishes are what give soldiers the courage to fight every day for every inch on the most bleak battlefields on Earth.  The love and warmth from home can still be felt 10,000 miles away in Afghanistan.

Bittersweet Victory Is Still Sweet

Who knew the death of a mass murderer would cause so many Americans to be upset?  Am I celebrating in the streets like an idiot?  No.  But I don't fault those people for a second to celebrate the end of the fear they have been feeling for the last 10 years.  The fear that every day might be another plane in another building or a bus exploding in the streets of their city.  That was Osama Bin Laden's legacy, that even though he wasn't there in our face, the fear was.  That is exactly what terrorism is.  Terrorism is making your target so afraid they will bow to whatever your wishes are.  Some have argued that Osama Bin Laden aimed to turn us from some righteous saint into the enemy we hate.  That by celebrating his death we are the mirror image of those fundamentalists celebrating the attacks on 9/11.  This argument couldn't be more flawed.

To begin with, in Muslim nations around the world was an outcry against the murder of thousands of innocents on 9/11.  There were leaders, both religious and political, in every major city giving their support to the United States and declaring how wrong those attacks were.  There were fundamentalist Muslims hiding in the hinterlands celebrating the murder of thousands claiming it was but the first step against the decadent West.  Did Muslims celebrate the death of American government employees or military personnel who were killed in terrorist attacks in foreign countries?  Of course, and this is to be expected when the local national population of those countries views our presence as occupation.  But 9/11 was not the death of military personnel occupying a foreign country.  It was the deliberate murder of 2,977 people.

There seems to be this impression of the United States as being "above" the actions of other countries.  As though the United States hasn't cut its own bloody path through history.  American citizens have rejoiced the death of their enemies in the streets just as much as any other country.  Osama Bin Laden didn't make us do that.  He didn't have some master plan to make us this way, we have been this way for 235 years.  Since when has the US been a country of reluctant violence?  This is a country just as violent as any other.  I would never say we have an "orgasmic euphoria" when it comes to violence however.  Celebrating the death of a mass murder in the streets doesn't count as "orgasmic euphoria".  In fact, I see it more as though they are celebrating their freedom from the fear inspired by his actions.

Terrorism is one of the most evil and awful actions in this world.  An act inspired purely to terrify someone so you can get what you want.  The goal isn't to inspire your enemy to love violence, in fact it is just the opposite.  By my calculation Osama Bin Laden poked the wrong bear.  He thought by attacking us on our own soil he was bringing the fight to us.  He was right, he was just wrong about the outcome.  Every terrorist thinks his actions will result in an unrelenting terror that forces the victims to do whatever he wants.  Osama Bin Laden picked the wrong victim it seems.  But his attacks came with a cost.  People in this country did live with a constant fear since 9/11.  With his death they finally have a day without looking over their shoulder.  I don't think that its such a bad thing.

Going on Leave

In less than a week I will begin the process to go home on leave.  I am excited but also nervous.  I am excited to see my friends and family, but nervous to leave in such a delicate time.  It is the beginning of the fighting season and I just want to make sure nothing is missed.  Out here it doesn't take much a of a mistake for it to be costly.  I don't like to get bored so I have planned quite a bit for my time at home.  But to me it seems like not much compared to all the stuff I do most every day.  So it will be an experience.  Not much here to report, so this entry will be brief at least!

Neglect Makes the Heart Grow Stronger

It seems that I have been too busy to write.  It will probably be this way from now on.  The fighting season has begun here, I can safely say that.  I expect to be busy in the coming months.  I will try to write when I can, how much I can, but be warned it will be in snippets.  A lot has been happening this past month.  I have had to do a lot of work in order to help my soldiers and myself get organized and ready for the fighting season.  There are things we as a fighting force are missing, and a process (long and aggravating) to get what we need.  I hope to be going on more missions to bring my expertise and knowledge directly to my brothers in the platoons.  At this point it is more about how much firepower and knowledge we can bring to the battlefield to destroy the enemy.  I think many Americans see Afghanistan as a place similar to Vietnam, at least in the sense that the enemy is hard to pinpoint and equally mixed into the population.  This is true and false.  The truth is, there are regular bad guys who are Afghans fighting Americans.  There are Afghans who are criminals and have no stake in the war aside from the money they can steal or take by force.  Then there are fighters from every where who have come to this battlefield to kill US soldiers.  I don't like that, in fact, the idea that some asshole came to this country to intimidate good people and kill innocent people makes me very angry.  And just like Bruce Banner, you wouldn't like me when I'm angry.  I tend to spend all my time figuring out a way to kill that guy.  These aren't locals who are defending their land or their people, these are murderers who think they can do whatever they like because they are Muslims.  In fact, they are making good, faithful Muslims look terrible because of their bloodthirst.  It is just a small pet peeve I have.  In either case, be aware that a battlefield exists here, a very tangible battlefield where we can tell friend from foe (most of the time).  And don't worry, it isn't like me to back down from an enemy that makes me angry.

Time is Always a Factor

I meant to write this last night when I worked all through the night.  Unfortunately, I had actual work to do which took precedence over my blog.  But there is something to be said for getting work done.  I am getting more done each day, and more information is being processed and analyzed than ever.  Time is always a factor though.  I find myself counting the minutes and even seconds I spend on tasks.  I counted the minutes of a presentation just to judge how much I would need to shorten it.  A lot of people get offended when I am short with them.  Or they think I take it personally when they give me a hard time about something.  The fact is I am so busy I don't have time to joke, or to be polite.  I know there is some knowledge out there that says it doesn't cost anything to be polite but I beg to differ.  It costs time, everything does.  I find myself rushing to the next thing and scheduling things back to back in order to be more productive and get more shit done.  I got ragged on during dinner a few nights ago, and I was like "yeah ok whatever" and turned to walk away.  They called me back just to assure me they were joking.  I wanted so badly to be like "I don't have time for this" but I just said ok so I could walk out faster.  It isn't time friendly to argue or discuss something trivial for me.  I think there was a time when I thought I had some time each day.  But now it keeps getting sucked away.  But on the other side our operations are growing by leaps and bounds.  I am confident this will be a defining part of our time here.  The infrastructure we create for this area, tactically, will be unmatched throughout the surrounding area.  Sleep is overrated anyways!

I Don't Want To

Want died.  That is what my mom used to tell me when we kids would say we wanted something ridiculous.  Someone should introduce that concept back into the Army.  Want is something we just don't have.  There are needs, there are shortages, and then there are wants.  The needs are what keep you moving.  The shortages are the things you need on hand but can do without in the short term.  Wants are like "What the fuck do you need that for?"  We have some of that going around right now.  The Army I joined didn't believe in something that you didn't use to shoot, move, communicate, or kill with.  Unless it fit into one of those things, you didn't need it.  And I still think you don't.  What we have now is permission to shoot, permission to move, permission to communicate, and permission to kill.  We want you to only shoot this way, or only shoot a person who does this.  We want you to stay there or move here.  Want died.  This is a fight, you do what you have to do to win.  Do not mistake me, I am not referring to actions that are unethical.  All I'm saying is your want is interfering with my need to kill the bad guy.  You want to spend time reviewing an ongoing operation from your armchair so you can give permission for us to walk up a mountain, hang out for awhile, wait for the bad guys to show up and then kill them.  Seems like a flawed system to me.  In either case, both forces agree, native and coalition: we need to be able to action on our own in order to be effective.  Want is what is wrong with each aspect of our operations, and you can notice these problems with want as a key word.  It is the same with my team.  I want to do this, I want to do that.  Want died, they aren't coming back.  The kind of selflessness that existed in generations prior is so rare now that want seems to rule everything.  There is only one thing I really want, to make sure the enemy is dead and we all go home.

Don't Jump to Conclusions

One of the best feelings in the world is to know someone is watching over you.  You have more confidence to do your job, and more peace of mind about your safety.  Even if that person is 10,000 miles away.  My great uncle John was in the army too, in Korea.  He worked for an artillery battery as a radioman.  So many things have changed since then but most of it is the same I have found.  His advice is just as relevant today as it was 60 years ago.  Each piece just tells me how important it is to remember the little things about my job.  To watch the corners, to trust your instincts and use all your senses.  He also told me to "Take your time... don't jump to a conclusion ... and try not to rush into a situation without ample intelligence."  Of all the advice he gave, this is probably the best.  We as young people are so often ready to run into any situation ready to act but without direction.  I have been guilty of this impulse before and hope to learn from my mistake.  Hearing this wisdom from so long ago just tells me that I am not so different than the generations before me.


To a different subject, it has snowed here and quite significantly.  I expected the snow, although I did not expect it to turn quickly to mud and melt so fast.  The people who live in this country are a tough bunch and capable, although completely incapable of agreeing to anything.  The sense that locals might be able to govern themselves is becoming unlikely.  Even a simple agreement can turn around abruptly creating bad blood and distrust among neighbors.  It is difficult to deal with a country so wrapped up in itself.  If not for Al-Qaeda, I wonder if this country would ever involve itself with the outside world.  They dislike most all foreigners whether they are from the west or not.  If they don't trust their neighbors, how can they be expected to trust foreigners?  But the way people think here is not how they think in the West.  It is difficult to follow their train of thought, but if I can then it may go a long way to addressing my enemy.  It is always difficult, getting into the mind of someone else.  To see their motivations and goals is always a challenge, to predict their movements is even more of a challenge.  But anyone who knows me well knows that I love a challenge and I eat them for breakfast.  Just as my Uncle John says, "Life has a way of telling you which way to go and not to go"

Why We Fight

As cliche as the title is, I believe it to be necessary.  Only a month here and I think many have lost track of why we are here.  And as I am continuously told I will change with the arrival of the fighting season in late spring I want to put down why we fight now and then if the viewpoint changes I can look back and compare.  I had a serious conversation with some other soldiers last night about what exactly we are doing here.  Army command might use an official sounding strategy (COIN), but I am taking a more practical view.  Essentially I view us here as doing more than just walking around in villages looking for contact.  We are NOT here to draw fire for 12 months.  We are here to build enough of a structure in order to leave and never have to come back.  I believe Afghanistan is a unique place as a whole with many unique subareas.  Perhaps I am being too optimistic.  Whether I am or not isn't overly important.  What is important is the mission, keep everyone safe and kill the bad guys.  I told our commander our grand plans for what we would like to achieve this year.  I also told him that if only a fraction of those plans actually worked I would consider it a success.  Plan for the best, prepare for the worst.  We are not here to hold hands and be friendly to everyone we see.  We are here to be two-faced and skeptical.  We are here to offer our hand while holding a knife behind our backs just in case.  I don't distrust every Afghan I meet, but I also don't trust anyone.  I don't trust our US soldiers to not be biased based upon their previous deployments here.  I don't trust our local workers to not know or even actively provide information to insurgents.  What I do trust is our abilities.  I trust my personal abilities and my fellow soldiers.  I believe we are competent and adequately trained to handle battle situations.  But if we as a fighting force do not keep an open mind and try our very best to think from another perspective, we are bound to fail.  "The victorious general only seeks battle when it has already been won." -Sun Tzu.  If we go on every mission expecting contact and just reacting to it we have already lost.  The victorious general will only go on a mission to which they already know the outcome.  The time for moving to contact has passed.  It is only my opinion and therefore not worth much, but if we are to succeed here in our battle space and in Afghanistan as a whole we need to do our very best to think as the enemy and act accordingly.  Otherwise, we have already lost.

And Stupidity Can Burn Down Houses

This week has been an interesting one.  We took our first real contact here, nothing to get really excited about I really had expected it sooner.  We have had some interesting lessons about the bureaucracy of the Army.  Not everyone in the Army is the same.  Some treat it like just a job, some like a calling, others treat it like professionals should.  The Army has many moving pieces and without direction they tend to stray a little bit...or a lot.  So when complicated tasks require multiple moving pieces to accomplish, it takes a tenacious soul to keep after the bureaucracy to produce results.  Some of my counterparts are more than willing to push information, provide me with resources and assets to help me or at least talk to someone who can help me.  The others believe there is no problem that cannot wait until tomorrow.  I find it difficult to work with people like that.  This is a combat zone, there are dangerous people here trying to kill US soldiers.  I can kill them first with the right information, but I need to get all my systems 100%.  I think the people back home deserve better than "It can wait until tomorrow".  If I knew, as a civilian, how much laziness existed amongst our armed forces (especially among deployed soldiers) I would be a little pissed off.  I am constantly pushing my soldiers to improve their work, improve other peoples work, branch out and see what other resources we can access.  It is my goal to provide as much information and as many resources to my commander as possible.  If there are air assets, I want them.  Information packets, I can get it.  I want to get every piece of help I can get.  Anyone who tells you they can do it all themselves is wrong.  Their stupidity can literally burn down their own house.  And I only say that because I saw it happen.  I don't need the credit, if we can make it back home with everyone we left with, that is all the recognition I want.

Get to the Top, Take a Knee and Drink Some Water

The feeling you get when you climb up the mountain, and are left there standing alone at the top, is the greatest feeling ever.  You can hardly breathe, hardly stand, and hardly keep from shouting at the top of your lungs.  You know that any direction you go it is all downhill.  You can finally enjoy the view.  On the way to the top you are looking at your feet, trying to get the best footing and the most leverage to muscle your way up.  You are too focused on your breathing and keeping yourself from passing out to actually enjoy the view.  This is how I have felt the last 3 weeks.  Moving steadily up the mountain, getting closer and closer to the top.  As I have near this point the last leg was difficult and obstacles were everywhere.  But it didn't matter really, because nothing could keep me from getting to the top.  We have come to a point in our operations where my team and I are settled and ready to advance forward.  Instead of analyzing the past we are set to move forward and address the future.  I can actually organize and task projects instead of the mass effort to get anything and everything done.  I know there will be other mountains to climb, and this year will pose some of the most difficult climbing challenges I have encountered.  But I didn't come to this party ill-equipped.  We have the tools to address each obstacle and the will to overcome any challenge.  Those who turned around, gave up, or said it was too difficult have no place here.  Here is where we have come to work, and its where we can most effectively get our job done.

Climb That Hill and Have a Look

Much has happened in the past week that I cannot discuss.  I am as busy as I have ever been.  I remember how before I left everyone claimed a year on deployment would be filled with boredom.  I expect it must come much later in deployment.  I have so many projects happening, and so much still to do before I feel established here.  I think as soon as I finally get settled and set to start working on autopilot I will either be home for leave or everything will change again and we will be hectic once more.  I love to work, I have always felt better about everything when I had something to accomplish.  I think this drive came from my competitive streak, that if I wasn't working then someone, somewhere was and they were getting better at my job than me.  I can tell I am becoming short with people though.  I am not trying to burn out, but I am constantly frustrated with the lack of common sense inherent to bureaucracy.  And what is the military with its share of bureaucracy?  There are far too many members of our armed forces for us to not have one.  But the standards don't always make the most sense for those on the ground.  I do miss my family and friends.  Partly because I no longer get to see them at will, partly because I wish they could share this adventure with me, and partly because I feel their lives are continuing forward while mine stays the same.  Not a logical sequence of thought processes, I know.  Not yet a month since we have left and only 4 posts.  I am not sure if it is too many or not enough.  I can never tell what is appropriate online, Tosh.0 has taught me that pretty much anything online can be appropriate.  Even videoblogs dedicated to hate.  For now I keep moving forward.  For us here on the ground, that is all we can do.  Its like climbing up a rock face, you could go all the way down to the bottom but would you really want to?  I am busy enough that the number of my posts will be determined by my workload, not by what is deemed appropriate by society.  There are a lot of personalities here, and they are bound to clash.  It is my hope that not much comes of it.

The First Snowfall

Everyone remembers the first snowfall when they were a kid.  Waking up, looking out the window and seeing all that white.  Then thinking desperately how great it would be if school was canceled.  The snow here is not at all like that.  The first snowfall means a number of things tactically but mainly it means winter has finally come upon us.  The ground is a muddy frozen track of gloom and your breath freezes on your face.  But I look out to the snow covered mountains thinking 1. How great it would be if school were canceled and I got some hot cocoa, 2.  How great it would be to snowboard down those mountains, and 3.  How much I can't wait for there to be enough snow here for a snowball fight.

I know this isn't the lengthiest of posts, but it says all I need it to say.  Snow can bring joy even in the muddiest, gloomiest tracks of life.

Stand Around the Campfire and Listen

I have been neglecting this blog.  Although in my defense I haven't done much in the way of work since my last post.  I went through the long and arduous process of being cleared for deployment and then eventually getting on a plane to come here.  Now that I am here in Afghanistan, it seemed like entirely too much process for such a simple thing.  I packed my bags, brought them to the airport, got on a plane, and arrived in a foreign country.  Not unlike any other time I have traveled abroad.  For many soldiers this was their first time out of the United States or North America.  Germany was an experience for everyone.  The airport in Leipzig had a small shop filled with steins and other classic German trinkets.  It made me smile thinking of my time spent in Bavaria after I graduated high school.  It was another life it seems, but all the memories of that experience are right here, rushing back to me.

Our first task as we get here is a briefing on the history of our operations here and the local customs and culture.  After we familiarize ourselves with the tactical environment we are immediately thrust into battle drills for various hazards we might encounter during our deployment.  We have practiced these drills countless times in the US but these are refreshers to make sure we are all still sharp.  Finally we are sent to a small range to verify we can all shoot a rifle or pistol and that our optics are accurate.  I was surprised to learn my optics needed no adjusting although I had never used this rifle before, all of my 9 rounds landing in a space the size of a quarter.  The constant preparation is like a weight now, to always be ready for anything at any time.  Rockets flew into Bagram while we were there.  It is such a constant occurrence, those who have spent much time here just ignore the sirens and go about their business.  Of course, we new guys are crouched in a bunker wearing all of our gear looking silly.

Back home, everyone has been impressively active in sending emails and promises of care packages.  I find comfort in their worry, it is good to feel cared for.  Every civilian operating with us never fails to thank us for our service and wish us a safe deployment.  The women tell us they "love each and every one of us".  Its almost as if everyone's mother is already here trying to give us hugs every time we turn around.