I Don't Want To

Want died.  That is what my mom used to tell me when we kids would say we wanted something ridiculous.  Someone should introduce that concept back into the Army.  Want is something we just don't have.  There are needs, there are shortages, and then there are wants.  The needs are what keep you moving.  The shortages are the things you need on hand but can do without in the short term.  Wants are like "What the fuck do you need that for?"  We have some of that going around right now.  The Army I joined didn't believe in something that you didn't use to shoot, move, communicate, or kill with.  Unless it fit into one of those things, you didn't need it.  And I still think you don't.  What we have now is permission to shoot, permission to move, permission to communicate, and permission to kill.  We want you to only shoot this way, or only shoot a person who does this.  We want you to stay there or move here.  Want died.  This is a fight, you do what you have to do to win.  Do not mistake me, I am not referring to actions that are unethical.  All I'm saying is your want is interfering with my need to kill the bad guy.  You want to spend time reviewing an ongoing operation from your armchair so you can give permission for us to walk up a mountain, hang out for awhile, wait for the bad guys to show up and then kill them.  Seems like a flawed system to me.  In either case, both forces agree, native and coalition: we need to be able to action on our own in order to be effective.  Want is what is wrong with each aspect of our operations, and you can notice these problems with want as a key word.  It is the same with my team.  I want to do this, I want to do that.  Want died, they aren't coming back.  The kind of selflessness that existed in generations prior is so rare now that want seems to rule everything.  There is only one thing I really want, to make sure the enemy is dead and we all go home.

Don't Jump to Conclusions

One of the best feelings in the world is to know someone is watching over you.  You have more confidence to do your job, and more peace of mind about your safety.  Even if that person is 10,000 miles away.  My great uncle John was in the army too, in Korea.  He worked for an artillery battery as a radioman.  So many things have changed since then but most of it is the same I have found.  His advice is just as relevant today as it was 60 years ago.  Each piece just tells me how important it is to remember the little things about my job.  To watch the corners, to trust your instincts and use all your senses.  He also told me to "Take your time... don't jump to a conclusion ... and try not to rush into a situation without ample intelligence."  Of all the advice he gave, this is probably the best.  We as young people are so often ready to run into any situation ready to act but without direction.  I have been guilty of this impulse before and hope to learn from my mistake.  Hearing this wisdom from so long ago just tells me that I am not so different than the generations before me.


To a different subject, it has snowed here and quite significantly.  I expected the snow, although I did not expect it to turn quickly to mud and melt so fast.  The people who live in this country are a tough bunch and capable, although completely incapable of agreeing to anything.  The sense that locals might be able to govern themselves is becoming unlikely.  Even a simple agreement can turn around abruptly creating bad blood and distrust among neighbors.  It is difficult to deal with a country so wrapped up in itself.  If not for Al-Qaeda, I wonder if this country would ever involve itself with the outside world.  They dislike most all foreigners whether they are from the west or not.  If they don't trust their neighbors, how can they be expected to trust foreigners?  But the way people think here is not how they think in the West.  It is difficult to follow their train of thought, but if I can then it may go a long way to addressing my enemy.  It is always difficult, getting into the mind of someone else.  To see their motivations and goals is always a challenge, to predict their movements is even more of a challenge.  But anyone who knows me well knows that I love a challenge and I eat them for breakfast.  Just as my Uncle John says, "Life has a way of telling you which way to go and not to go"

Why We Fight

As cliche as the title is, I believe it to be necessary.  Only a month here and I think many have lost track of why we are here.  And as I am continuously told I will change with the arrival of the fighting season in late spring I want to put down why we fight now and then if the viewpoint changes I can look back and compare.  I had a serious conversation with some other soldiers last night about what exactly we are doing here.  Army command might use an official sounding strategy (COIN), but I am taking a more practical view.  Essentially I view us here as doing more than just walking around in villages looking for contact.  We are NOT here to draw fire for 12 months.  We are here to build enough of a structure in order to leave and never have to come back.  I believe Afghanistan is a unique place as a whole with many unique subareas.  Perhaps I am being too optimistic.  Whether I am or not isn't overly important.  What is important is the mission, keep everyone safe and kill the bad guys.  I told our commander our grand plans for what we would like to achieve this year.  I also told him that if only a fraction of those plans actually worked I would consider it a success.  Plan for the best, prepare for the worst.  We are not here to hold hands and be friendly to everyone we see.  We are here to be two-faced and skeptical.  We are here to offer our hand while holding a knife behind our backs just in case.  I don't distrust every Afghan I meet, but I also don't trust anyone.  I don't trust our US soldiers to not be biased based upon their previous deployments here.  I don't trust our local workers to not know or even actively provide information to insurgents.  What I do trust is our abilities.  I trust my personal abilities and my fellow soldiers.  I believe we are competent and adequately trained to handle battle situations.  But if we as a fighting force do not keep an open mind and try our very best to think from another perspective, we are bound to fail.  "The victorious general only seeks battle when it has already been won." -Sun Tzu.  If we go on every mission expecting contact and just reacting to it we have already lost.  The victorious general will only go on a mission to which they already know the outcome.  The time for moving to contact has passed.  It is only my opinion and therefore not worth much, but if we are to succeed here in our battle space and in Afghanistan as a whole we need to do our very best to think as the enemy and act accordingly.  Otherwise, we have already lost.