Bittersweet Victory Is Still Sweet

Who knew the death of a mass murderer would cause so many Americans to be upset?  Am I celebrating in the streets like an idiot?  No.  But I don't fault those people for a second to celebrate the end of the fear they have been feeling for the last 10 years.  The fear that every day might be another plane in another building or a bus exploding in the streets of their city.  That was Osama Bin Laden's legacy, that even though he wasn't there in our face, the fear was.  That is exactly what terrorism is.  Terrorism is making your target so afraid they will bow to whatever your wishes are.  Some have argued that Osama Bin Laden aimed to turn us from some righteous saint into the enemy we hate.  That by celebrating his death we are the mirror image of those fundamentalists celebrating the attacks on 9/11.  This argument couldn't be more flawed.

To begin with, in Muslim nations around the world was an outcry against the murder of thousands of innocents on 9/11.  There were leaders, both religious and political, in every major city giving their support to the United States and declaring how wrong those attacks were.  There were fundamentalist Muslims hiding in the hinterlands celebrating the murder of thousands claiming it was but the first step against the decadent West.  Did Muslims celebrate the death of American government employees or military personnel who were killed in terrorist attacks in foreign countries?  Of course, and this is to be expected when the local national population of those countries views our presence as occupation.  But 9/11 was not the death of military personnel occupying a foreign country.  It was the deliberate murder of 2,977 people.

There seems to be this impression of the United States as being "above" the actions of other countries.  As though the United States hasn't cut its own bloody path through history.  American citizens have rejoiced the death of their enemies in the streets just as much as any other country.  Osama Bin Laden didn't make us do that.  He didn't have some master plan to make us this way, we have been this way for 235 years.  Since when has the US been a country of reluctant violence?  This is a country just as violent as any other.  I would never say we have an "orgasmic euphoria" when it comes to violence however.  Celebrating the death of a mass murder in the streets doesn't count as "orgasmic euphoria".  In fact, I see it more as though they are celebrating their freedom from the fear inspired by his actions.

Terrorism is one of the most evil and awful actions in this world.  An act inspired purely to terrify someone so you can get what you want.  The goal isn't to inspire your enemy to love violence, in fact it is just the opposite.  By my calculation Osama Bin Laden poked the wrong bear.  He thought by attacking us on our own soil he was bringing the fight to us.  He was right, he was just wrong about the outcome.  Every terrorist thinks his actions will result in an unrelenting terror that forces the victims to do whatever he wants.  Osama Bin Laden picked the wrong victim it seems.  But his attacks came with a cost.  People in this country did live with a constant fear since 9/11.  With his death they finally have a day without looking over their shoulder.  I don't think that its such a bad thing.

Going on Leave

In less than a week I will begin the process to go home on leave.  I am excited but also nervous.  I am excited to see my friends and family, but nervous to leave in such a delicate time.  It is the beginning of the fighting season and I just want to make sure nothing is missed.  Out here it doesn't take much a of a mistake for it to be costly.  I don't like to get bored so I have planned quite a bit for my time at home.  But to me it seems like not much compared to all the stuff I do most every day.  So it will be an experience.  Not much here to report, so this entry will be brief at least!

Neglect Makes the Heart Grow Stronger

It seems that I have been too busy to write.  It will probably be this way from now on.  The fighting season has begun here, I can safely say that.  I expect to be busy in the coming months.  I will try to write when I can, how much I can, but be warned it will be in snippets.  A lot has been happening this past month.  I have had to do a lot of work in order to help my soldiers and myself get organized and ready for the fighting season.  There are things we as a fighting force are missing, and a process (long and aggravating) to get what we need.  I hope to be going on more missions to bring my expertise and knowledge directly to my brothers in the platoons.  At this point it is more about how much firepower and knowledge we can bring to the battlefield to destroy the enemy.  I think many Americans see Afghanistan as a place similar to Vietnam, at least in the sense that the enemy is hard to pinpoint and equally mixed into the population.  This is true and false.  The truth is, there are regular bad guys who are Afghans fighting Americans.  There are Afghans who are criminals and have no stake in the war aside from the money they can steal or take by force.  Then there are fighters from every where who have come to this battlefield to kill US soldiers.  I don't like that, in fact, the idea that some asshole came to this country to intimidate good people and kill innocent people makes me very angry.  And just like Bruce Banner, you wouldn't like me when I'm angry.  I tend to spend all my time figuring out a way to kill that guy.  These aren't locals who are defending their land or their people, these are murderers who think they can do whatever they like because they are Muslims.  In fact, they are making good, faithful Muslims look terrible because of their bloodthirst.  It is just a small pet peeve I have.  In either case, be aware that a battlefield exists here, a very tangible battlefield where we can tell friend from foe (most of the time).  And don't worry, it isn't like me to back down from an enemy that makes me angry.

Time is Always a Factor

I meant to write this last night when I worked all through the night.  Unfortunately, I had actual work to do which took precedence over my blog.  But there is something to be said for getting work done.  I am getting more done each day, and more information is being processed and analyzed than ever.  Time is always a factor though.  I find myself counting the minutes and even seconds I spend on tasks.  I counted the minutes of a presentation just to judge how much I would need to shorten it.  A lot of people get offended when I am short with them.  Or they think I take it personally when they give me a hard time about something.  The fact is I am so busy I don't have time to joke, or to be polite.  I know there is some knowledge out there that says it doesn't cost anything to be polite but I beg to differ.  It costs time, everything does.  I find myself rushing to the next thing and scheduling things back to back in order to be more productive and get more shit done.  I got ragged on during dinner a few nights ago, and I was like "yeah ok whatever" and turned to walk away.  They called me back just to assure me they were joking.  I wanted so badly to be like "I don't have time for this" but I just said ok so I could walk out faster.  It isn't time friendly to argue or discuss something trivial for me.  I think there was a time when I thought I had some time each day.  But now it keeps getting sucked away.  But on the other side our operations are growing by leaps and bounds.  I am confident this will be a defining part of our time here.  The infrastructure we create for this area, tactically, will be unmatched throughout the surrounding area.  Sleep is overrated anyways!

I Don't Want To

Want died.  That is what my mom used to tell me when we kids would say we wanted something ridiculous.  Someone should introduce that concept back into the Army.  Want is something we just don't have.  There are needs, there are shortages, and then there are wants.  The needs are what keep you moving.  The shortages are the things you need on hand but can do without in the short term.  Wants are like "What the fuck do you need that for?"  We have some of that going around right now.  The Army I joined didn't believe in something that you didn't use to shoot, move, communicate, or kill with.  Unless it fit into one of those things, you didn't need it.  And I still think you don't.  What we have now is permission to shoot, permission to move, permission to communicate, and permission to kill.  We want you to only shoot this way, or only shoot a person who does this.  We want you to stay there or move here.  Want died.  This is a fight, you do what you have to do to win.  Do not mistake me, I am not referring to actions that are unethical.  All I'm saying is your want is interfering with my need to kill the bad guy.  You want to spend time reviewing an ongoing operation from your armchair so you can give permission for us to walk up a mountain, hang out for awhile, wait for the bad guys to show up and then kill them.  Seems like a flawed system to me.  In either case, both forces agree, native and coalition: we need to be able to action on our own in order to be effective.  Want is what is wrong with each aspect of our operations, and you can notice these problems with want as a key word.  It is the same with my team.  I want to do this, I want to do that.  Want died, they aren't coming back.  The kind of selflessness that existed in generations prior is so rare now that want seems to rule everything.  There is only one thing I really want, to make sure the enemy is dead and we all go home.

Don't Jump to Conclusions

One of the best feelings in the world is to know someone is watching over you.  You have more confidence to do your job, and more peace of mind about your safety.  Even if that person is 10,000 miles away.  My great uncle John was in the army too, in Korea.  He worked for an artillery battery as a radioman.  So many things have changed since then but most of it is the same I have found.  His advice is just as relevant today as it was 60 years ago.  Each piece just tells me how important it is to remember the little things about my job.  To watch the corners, to trust your instincts and use all your senses.  He also told me to "Take your time... don't jump to a conclusion ... and try not to rush into a situation without ample intelligence."  Of all the advice he gave, this is probably the best.  We as young people are so often ready to run into any situation ready to act but without direction.  I have been guilty of this impulse before and hope to learn from my mistake.  Hearing this wisdom from so long ago just tells me that I am not so different than the generations before me.


To a different subject, it has snowed here and quite significantly.  I expected the snow, although I did not expect it to turn quickly to mud and melt so fast.  The people who live in this country are a tough bunch and capable, although completely incapable of agreeing to anything.  The sense that locals might be able to govern themselves is becoming unlikely.  Even a simple agreement can turn around abruptly creating bad blood and distrust among neighbors.  It is difficult to deal with a country so wrapped up in itself.  If not for Al-Qaeda, I wonder if this country would ever involve itself with the outside world.  They dislike most all foreigners whether they are from the west or not.  If they don't trust their neighbors, how can they be expected to trust foreigners?  But the way people think here is not how they think in the West.  It is difficult to follow their train of thought, but if I can then it may go a long way to addressing my enemy.  It is always difficult, getting into the mind of someone else.  To see their motivations and goals is always a challenge, to predict their movements is even more of a challenge.  But anyone who knows me well knows that I love a challenge and I eat them for breakfast.  Just as my Uncle John says, "Life has a way of telling you which way to go and not to go"

Why We Fight

As cliche as the title is, I believe it to be necessary.  Only a month here and I think many have lost track of why we are here.  And as I am continuously told I will change with the arrival of the fighting season in late spring I want to put down why we fight now and then if the viewpoint changes I can look back and compare.  I had a serious conversation with some other soldiers last night about what exactly we are doing here.  Army command might use an official sounding strategy (COIN), but I am taking a more practical view.  Essentially I view us here as doing more than just walking around in villages looking for contact.  We are NOT here to draw fire for 12 months.  We are here to build enough of a structure in order to leave and never have to come back.  I believe Afghanistan is a unique place as a whole with many unique subareas.  Perhaps I am being too optimistic.  Whether I am or not isn't overly important.  What is important is the mission, keep everyone safe and kill the bad guys.  I told our commander our grand plans for what we would like to achieve this year.  I also told him that if only a fraction of those plans actually worked I would consider it a success.  Plan for the best, prepare for the worst.  We are not here to hold hands and be friendly to everyone we see.  We are here to be two-faced and skeptical.  We are here to offer our hand while holding a knife behind our backs just in case.  I don't distrust every Afghan I meet, but I also don't trust anyone.  I don't trust our US soldiers to not be biased based upon their previous deployments here.  I don't trust our local workers to not know or even actively provide information to insurgents.  What I do trust is our abilities.  I trust my personal abilities and my fellow soldiers.  I believe we are competent and adequately trained to handle battle situations.  But if we as a fighting force do not keep an open mind and try our very best to think from another perspective, we are bound to fail.  "The victorious general only seeks battle when it has already been won." -Sun Tzu.  If we go on every mission expecting contact and just reacting to it we have already lost.  The victorious general will only go on a mission to which they already know the outcome.  The time for moving to contact has passed.  It is only my opinion and therefore not worth much, but if we are to succeed here in our battle space and in Afghanistan as a whole we need to do our very best to think as the enemy and act accordingly.  Otherwise, we have already lost.