The End of the Fight

It is nearly the end of September.  I haven't written in awhile, and for good reason.  The fighting season certainly did take time and energy away from me.  In fact, it wasn't the enemy who was responsible.  The enemy was out there, stronger and trying to kill us, as always.  The changes we experienced in the last 2-3 months had nothing to do with losing our own to injury or death.  And yet despite this lack of losses and continued successes against the enemy there was more calls for a change in tactics, a change in strategy.  How can we be more effective?  How can we deal a harsher blow to the enemy and finally drive him from our area of operations?  In addition to that, it seemed each chief with a little power felt it was time to flex it.  To make their mark, to do things their way.  The soldiers on bottom can only take so much of their superiors ordering them to do stupid shit for their own benefit.  After awhile there is no motivation, no loyalty, and no belief that our orders are anything but the whims of a selfish system built upon the idea of privilege.  So we get tired, and we lose sight of the real fight.

The fighting season is drawing to a close, and fighters won't be willing to return while the weather turns brutal and cold.  We all turn our eyes towards home, hoping and wishing we will be there overnight.  It is all I think about, and I am certain my fellow soldiers feel the same.  We are barred from the celebration however, by the tedious and impeding bureaucracy slowing our every step towards redeployment.  Each step towards home is filled with more processes and more changes, so much that it feels as though we are walking in sand, sinking with each step.  And although we will touch down in the US, we are disheartened with the promise of how long it will be before we can hold our loved ones.  Of all the "necessary work" that must be done in order to have a break from the constant dreariness that accompanies deployments.  There is a training schedule, an equipment turn in, paperwork, doctors appointments, awards, ceremonies, and so much pomp and circumstance that we are almost dreading returning as we were departing.  I know in 3 months, I will feel the pain and frustration of the whole process was worth it and be elated to be back.  But for now, that feeling seems so very far away.  One fight may be ending, here in Afghanistan, but it seems a whole new fight is beginning.  The Fight To Get Home.

Reporters and the Citizenry

I don't like war.  It brings pain and misery to everyone on their side and ours.  Innocents are caught in the middle.  Very little good ever comes of it.

We had some reporters from NPR come to COP WILDERNESS and find out how our fight is going in my area.  We had been given the usual "don't say anything stupid" speech.  I personally am privileged to sensitive information and I didn't want them taking it out of context or quoting something meant to be off the record.  So I didn't speak maybe 10 words to them the whole time they were here.  In fact, when they asked me a question I referred them to our commanding officers.  We took mortars and other indirect fires the day they were set to leave.  Also a day when we were receiving VIPs for a meeting.  They got good coverage of this to include pictures.  Naturally their focus was on this event and others like it.  Not only did they publish the initial article based around our fight, they mentioned specifics about who was wounded and when we normally take fire.  In the business, we call this BDA and TTPs.  A "Battle Damage Assessment" or BDA is what effect your attack had on the target, so thank you NPR for letting them know how effective they were.  "Tactics, Techniques and Procedures" are the patterns you set in operations and patterns the enemy sets.  They are important for obvious reasons, again thank you NPR for letting them know that WE know what they are doing.  To continue; this report was updated yesterday with more pictures of us climbing mountains and other operations in the area.  They also had spoken with our brigade commander and talked about how the fight is going in this area.  I don't have any problem with that, he is the one to talk to the media about how our fight is going.  However, it seems that the reporters got the idea from talking with him and others that I'm right in the middle of the fight.  We have a fight on our hands, that is certain, BUT I do not think it is as overblown and extensive as they are suggesting.  That is dangerous.  Reporters saying that Haqqani tactics are alienating local elders is dangerous.

Why are reporters posting these things?  Don't they understand how dangerous it is to speculate on how the US military is trying to end the fighting?  Even more aggravating are the comments below.  Readers are suggesting Afghanistan is a war for resources or worse even, that we are here to destroy the native population.  WHAT THE FUCK!?  I don't love the political decisions our government makes most of the time.  In fact, I generally tend to disagree with how our country is run.  But seriously, this is AS clear cut of an operation as you can manage.  Bad guys attack US, US attacks country harboring bad guys, US kills bad guys, bad guys continue to try and take the country back over, US continues to kill bad guys.  You can try to find all the conspiracies in the world to make that into a bad thing but its ridiculous.  If you understand how terrorism works and how international politics work, even a little, you can understand the fight in Afghanistan.  I studied it for years and of the hotspot situations in the world right now it is one of the least complicated.  We weren't searching for some mysterious WMD when we came here.  We came for Bin Laden and the Taliban.  PERIOD.  The Taliban have done a good job of coming back and trying to take the country again.  We have continued to fight them.  War weariness is setting in and Afghans don't want to fight anymore, but that isn't stopping foreign fighters from coming here to make a name for themselves.  The comments on that blog aren't from Afghans or foreign nationals who disapprove of the US Military.  Those are OUR citizens who are essentially calling the soldiers murderers and our mission to prevent Afghanistan from becoming an international terrorism safe haven a mission for blood and treasure.  Its more than offensive, its depressing.  If the citizens are too stupid to know we are protecting them, then why are we?  Shouldn't we just let terrorism flourish wherever it can and kill off our citizens?  After all, I'm apparently doing the wrong thing here.  So why fight?  Shouldn't I just let them go over to the US and blow up NPR headquarters, cause I'm just here for natural resources and to oppress the locals.  I'm not here to prevent Al-Qaeda or someone like them from attacking Americans or anything.  And the worst comments are from people frowning at me essentially saying "Awww he thinks he is helping America but he is just stupid."  That shit pisses me off.

I'm not the smartest guy in the world, but I when it comes to international politics, terrorism, and military strategy or tactics I definitely have a leg up on most people.  I'm not a doctor or a lawyer.  I'm a soldier, and more than that I'm a soldier who has intimately studied everything having to do with terrorism, international politics, and warfare.  I spend my waking hours thinking like the enemy so that I can find him and kill him.  It isn't some TV crew or commentator walking up a mountain to take a look at some corpses to see if there is evidence he was a insurgent leader, that's me.  They aren't taking prints of a dead guy who got his head exploded by automatic 30mm fire, that would be me.  So for every reporter out there or dumbass civilian commenting on how our soldiers are stupid: stop, take a deep breath, and the shut the fuck up.

LTC Mohammad Hussein

This entry is meant to be an obituary for LTC Hussein.  Enough time has passed from when he was killed that I don't think there are any operational issues involved.

LTC Mohammad Hussein was a Tajik born in the northern provinces of Afghanistan.  He had been fighting in one way or another, as had many Afghans, for his whole life.  He was the battalion level commander for the Afghan National Army headquartered with B Troop, 6-4 CAV.  There wasn't much to know about LTC Hussein initially, he was wary of US troops from his past experiences.  But with time he began to show what kind of man he truly was.  He cared for his soldiers, really cared about their welfare and their training.  He was quick to laugh at ridiculous situations (of which in Afghanistan there are plenty), but somber and serious when the situation called for it.  He held a strength that was visible, people recognized it and respected him for it.  LTC Hussein had been fighting in the eastern provinces for the whole war, since the Taliban was driven out, before there was a formalize Afghan National Army.  He had been targeted before to be assassinated, and the enemy almost killed him with a targeted IED.  They wanted to kill him because he cared, because he was a good soldier who wanted to protect the people who couldn't protect themselves and because he was a true leader who inspired his soldiers to fight when they thought there was no point and to do the right thing despite the difficulty.  Despite all the challenges he faced as a commander, he would just listen to everyone talk and then once they were done he would speak very calmly and quietly, with respect to each position, and tell his soldiers and everyone else who was there exactly what needed to happen.  I had the opportunity to speak with him personally on many occasions and in addition to being a model soldier and officer he was a kind man who did the right thing no matter how difficult.  He was killed on April 5, 2011 by an IED made specifically for him.  He had gone to visit the place where an officer of his, a friend, had been killed the year before.  The enemy waited until they saw him pay his respects, get into his vehicle, and then they murdered him and two of the soldiers he was with.  His death was a loss, not just for his military and Afghanistan, but for everyone who fights against the enemy.  He will be remembered.

Night Duty

Working at night is not easy, even for someone who is a night person.  Very little happens at night even here.  There are people moving here, and the occasional vehicle there, but overall most everything still happens during the day.  Only in great cities like New York or Chicago are people as active at night as they are during the day.  I like the nighttime.  Somehow it feels like a different world.  The time, unfortunately, passes quite slowly.  There seems to be more hours to think about home, and how much I want to go back.  There is a job to do here, but I feel that it is mostly done and time for us to hand it off.  I know the outcome, as I did before I left the US, but it doesn't change that very little is still happening here.  We can spend more money, more lives, and more time to improve the lives of the people here but ultimately it is a band aid for which there is no permanent solution.  The people in this part of the world are very set in the their ways, as unforgiving as the mountains which cover this country.  No amount of anything we give, or do, or say will change that fact about them.  It is the same for my position here.  Nothing I say or do will shorten the time here, and not much can improve my standing.  It is limbo.  I laugh because when we got here there was so much to improve upon.  The last people to be in this place literally went backwards, leaving projects in disrepair and destroying any good will that had come to this place.  There was building to do, and it took months of hard work to develop our position.  But now that we are established and complete it is just a boring routine of the same day over and over again.  The mission is done, and now we should be going home.

Mrs. Fritz's Class

We received some mail today that might possibly be the best thing I have ever seen.  In addition to the THREE boxes of random goodies they sent to me (including 48 colors of crayons and UNO cards!!) they also each wrote me a short letter telling me what they have thought of my service.  I am amazed at these kids.  One boy, Patrick, who is 10 years old, told me an epic tale of how his basketball team overcame their opponents in overtime to win the championship.  His last sentences: "Thank you for serving our country.  I don't think I could ever in my whole life serve for our amazing country because I don't have enough courage to do that.  Thank you again.  Bye!"  Honestly I never considered it to be a courageous thing I am doing.  Maybe its not that I have the courage myself to do this, but that each one of these kids and all the people at home give me that courage with their hopes and prayers and well wishes.  I have a few more excerpts to add in.  Eddie has a great story about him and his friends doing a Spongebob Squarepants song in the talent show.  He ends with "I truly admire the way you fearlessly fight for our country."

Leena loves dogs and just recently got a new puppy, a black and white terrier mix named Max.  She ends her letter; "You really work hard.  We all appreciate you and right now I admire you.  You're a role model to me.  you fight for your country.  You show you're a true American.  you don't care what happens, you know you have the strength to defeat anything.  you are an amazing person, a true citizen, and a true soldier."  These words mean so much more to me than any newspaper editor or self-serving politician.  I have never felt so supported by total strangers.

Calvin loves chess and came in first during the Chess Tournament.  Jalen loves the Chicago Bulls and is happy they are in the playoffs.  He ends his letter with "Thank you for protecting us from danger.  I appreciate your time for fighting to keep our freedom.  You are very brave and bold for doing this."  Riley likes to go to the movies and Extreme Trampoline, his favorite team is the Blackhawks.  Mine too, I hope they can win another Stanley Cup when I am home to watch it!  Ava is going to get a shelter dog when her dad graduates dental school.  She loves dogs and has a hilarious tooth joke at the end of her letter.

The last letter is from the teacher Janice Fritz.  She explains how excited the kids were and how much they would like to write me back.  I know that by the time I mail a letter they will be on break so now I will try to get a call out to them at school.  She ends her letter, "Thank you so much for serving our country.  I would think being away from home for so long, and in such a stressful situation, would be extremely difficult."

These are the reason I fight.  These letters, these wishes are what give soldiers the courage to fight every day for every inch on the most bleak battlefields on Earth.  The love and warmth from home can still be felt 10,000 miles away in Afghanistan.

Bittersweet Victory Is Still Sweet

Who knew the death of a mass murderer would cause so many Americans to be upset?  Am I celebrating in the streets like an idiot?  No.  But I don't fault those people for a second to celebrate the end of the fear they have been feeling for the last 10 years.  The fear that every day might be another plane in another building or a bus exploding in the streets of their city.  That was Osama Bin Laden's legacy, that even though he wasn't there in our face, the fear was.  That is exactly what terrorism is.  Terrorism is making your target so afraid they will bow to whatever your wishes are.  Some have argued that Osama Bin Laden aimed to turn us from some righteous saint into the enemy we hate.  That by celebrating his death we are the mirror image of those fundamentalists celebrating the attacks on 9/11.  This argument couldn't be more flawed.

To begin with, in Muslim nations around the world was an outcry against the murder of thousands of innocents on 9/11.  There were leaders, both religious and political, in every major city giving their support to the United States and declaring how wrong those attacks were.  There were fundamentalist Muslims hiding in the hinterlands celebrating the murder of thousands claiming it was but the first step against the decadent West.  Did Muslims celebrate the death of American government employees or military personnel who were killed in terrorist attacks in foreign countries?  Of course, and this is to be expected when the local national population of those countries views our presence as occupation.  But 9/11 was not the death of military personnel occupying a foreign country.  It was the deliberate murder of 2,977 people.

There seems to be this impression of the United States as being "above" the actions of other countries.  As though the United States hasn't cut its own bloody path through history.  American citizens have rejoiced the death of their enemies in the streets just as much as any other country.  Osama Bin Laden didn't make us do that.  He didn't have some master plan to make us this way, we have been this way for 235 years.  Since when has the US been a country of reluctant violence?  This is a country just as violent as any other.  I would never say we have an "orgasmic euphoria" when it comes to violence however.  Celebrating the death of a mass murder in the streets doesn't count as "orgasmic euphoria".  In fact, I see it more as though they are celebrating their freedom from the fear inspired by his actions.

Terrorism is one of the most evil and awful actions in this world.  An act inspired purely to terrify someone so you can get what you want.  The goal isn't to inspire your enemy to love violence, in fact it is just the opposite.  By my calculation Osama Bin Laden poked the wrong bear.  He thought by attacking us on our own soil he was bringing the fight to us.  He was right, he was just wrong about the outcome.  Every terrorist thinks his actions will result in an unrelenting terror that forces the victims to do whatever he wants.  Osama Bin Laden picked the wrong victim it seems.  But his attacks came with a cost.  People in this country did live with a constant fear since 9/11.  With his death they finally have a day without looking over their shoulder.  I don't think that its such a bad thing.

Going on Leave

In less than a week I will begin the process to go home on leave.  I am excited but also nervous.  I am excited to see my friends and family, but nervous to leave in such a delicate time.  It is the beginning of the fighting season and I just want to make sure nothing is missed.  Out here it doesn't take much a of a mistake for it to be costly.  I don't like to get bored so I have planned quite a bit for my time at home.  But to me it seems like not much compared to all the stuff I do most every day.  So it will be an experience.  Not much here to report, so this entry will be brief at least!